Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Chasity Suits

Has their ever been a time when you were the most frightened, and you thought you were going to die? It all started out on a cold and skinned Halloween night. My friends and I were all going out to roll and egg some houses. " Hey Lindsey I dare you to egg Mr. Crocker's house," Jamie stated. "No way he is evil you even know what every body says about him!"Lindsey exclaimed. "Lindsey if you go I will go," I stated. " Besides what is the wrost that could happen?" I asked. "Yeah and its just a stupid old man and house anyways," Jamie assured. "Ok, but we are not going inside," Lindsey commanded. "Are you sure that you dont want to go in?" Jamie asked. "Yeah and their might be some pretty cool stuff in there," I replied. "I suppose we could stay in for a few minutes but not long," Lindsey agreed. Jamie opened the creaking door and we all three scattered off of the porch. "Ok we have to figure out who goes first," I suggested. "Well, im not going in first," Lindsey replied. "Me neither," I agreed. "Don't look at me im not going in first either," Jamie stated. "Fine then, we can all go in at the same time," I suggested. When we walked in it was as if we were in a dungeon.Their were busted up windows, cobwebs shadowing the floor, and every time we took one step it sounded as if the floor was going collapse."Bam," went a loud noise. "Oh my Jesus, did you hear that?" Lindsey asked. "Yeah maybe we should leave," I suggested. "No lets stay here and check out the rest of the place," Jamie stated. "Yeah i guess we should, and we have already made it in," I agreed. Not long after hearing things we saw a black shadowing figure floating across the room. "Ok this is getting freaky we better leave," Lindsey suggested. "Ok lets go," Jamie and I agreed. As we tried to escape, the black shadowing figure jumped out in front of us,but as the figure appeared in the light we realized that it was Mr. Crocker. "Mr. Crocker we were just looking for you," Jamie stated. "I dont know what you were doing in here, but i think it is time for you to leave," Mr. Crocker commanded. "Yes sir, it won't happen again," I assured him. That night was the scariest night of my life, and it is something that i will never forget.

1 comment:

student said...

1. Great beginning.
2. Watch for careless typing errors and punctuation problems.
3. Excellent use of "other words for said."